Majestic Mirage Punta Cana, All Suites ? All Inclusive

The resort layout is clumsy and does not highlight the scenery. Rather, the focus is exploiting every inch of space with zero consideration of view or orientation. This resort is very long. The pools are very skinny and broken up oddly, making them difficult to navigate. Oddly, ALL of the pool chairs and beds face hotel rooms rather than being oriented toward the beach or any vegetation. The set up is awful. The beach is small, lots of seaweed. Even our teenagers agreed, the non-stop, extremely loud techno music blairing outdoors was terrorizing. If you are outside, you are subjected to non-stop, angst inducing techno music with mega-distorted bass. There was NOTHING relaxing about being outdoors for this reason. I cannot stress enough how much my entire family hated the never ending, mega-volume rave music, it literally never stopped or was changed to something vaguely less obnoxious. As far as rooms go, I booked 2 large suites that included bedrooms with seperate living areas and large bathtubs. Instead, we were "upgraded" upon arrival to much smaller rooms with bedroom only (no bathtub) and a small velvet couch that was very worn and stained. We don't watch a ton of TV on vacay, but literally fewer that 4 english TV channels. The room "upgrade" was for a boxed in patio on the roof. There was a sunbed and a large bathtub, HOWEVER, the walls were high (5ft) and stucco, so stifling hot and zero view of anything but wall. I understand safety, but plexiglass or anything to allow any view or breeze would have been great. The huge tub had 6 faucets/ jets, 4 of which were 100% clogged. The tub took about 2 hours to fill and leaked out faster than that, so total waste. Do not recommend the rooftop patio "upgrade." Sounds cool, but in reality was no bueno, horrible setup like everything else. Lastly... all of the food was absolutely TERRIBLE (breakfast eggs ok.

The food was cold/warm 60% off the time. At home we are used to having everything hot. The fans in shower and bathrooms never worked. Said they would come check on it but never did. We looked forward to night time Jacuzzi, called email/survey them that is was not working, coming to fix never showed up. Next night told butler he did temp fix but water was cold by time to go in and couldn't get it to stay. Maintenance came next day, needed a part, following day tub was in peices and there it still was when we left. Got food poisoning or something from water. Was very sick for 2 days. Plus maybe more of the non slip strips around pool and bar area outside. Was very slick, I even slipped hard right on my back.